Life Is Only As Hard As You Allow It To Be
By Matthew G. Brandt
I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about how hard life really is, or is it? In reality, life is only as hard as you allow it to be. My message today is titled Life is only as hard as you allow it to be” and it’s about how to live a fantastic life even if sometimes if feels overwhelming. Remember when you feel something, it’s because you allow that to happen.
We all want to “be happy in life.” We hope we have everything in life that we can find enjoyable and to our liking. A great job or a successful business. Most want to be in the perfect relationship or be married to just the perfect person. Great kids, and friends that are there for us at every turn. I know I want to be able to have all the “things” life has to offer and when we have all those things, there will be no worries or problems to speak of. Right?
Desire
Everyone has the desire for a life full of positive aspects with no issues to deal with. We know that ever person is different and we all have different levels of success and life expectations. One person may believe life is perfect in one way, while the next person believes success or expectations are defined exactly opposite for them. For some, a good life may be simply having three meals-a-day, clean water to drink, and a roof over their head. For others, it may be living in a large house and several million dollars in the bank.
There are different levels and meanings to what a good life is. However, whatever your definition of it is, there are perhaps other things that you may have in common with other people that you can identify with. You might want a life that is stress free. You may want to not work so many hours to achieve the level of success you desire. That is a normal expectation of people. Nobody likes or wants to grind and dig and struggle through life, and to my point, we don’t have to. It’s our choice.
The Problem
The problem is; it’s most likely you that is stopping you from enjoying the life you desire. The thought of that struggle, work, exertion, effort and so on is enough to make a lot of people give up before they even have a chance to begin their journey. It may seem so overwhelming, and for many people it all just doesn’t seem be worth it. It is similar to your car running out of gas before you even leave for your trip. Before you even leave the house, the mere thought of all that effort and exertion scares you and wears you out mentally, so you just simply give up before you even try. It’s just too hard.
“Life is Difficult, Or Is It?”
- Scott Peck once said; “Once we know that life is difficult- once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.”
Now it is true, that in life you will have difficulties from time to time and getting some of the things you want, be it tangible, emotional or otherwise. It is rare to get anything in life without some degree of effort.
Life can be hard – your boss will not always be the best person to work for. Your job will have issues and stresses that you may not always be able to predict. Your peers and colleagues will challenge you from time to time. You may not always make the level of money or gain the recognition that you want and deserve. The people you work for, the stakeholders, may treat you with little respect from time to time.
Life Can Be Hard
Life can be hard – your kids will challenge your ability to parent. Your spouse may provide issues or challenges to your relations you did not expect. You may in fact not be the perfect example of a husband or wife you thought you were. Your home potentially may not be located where you want it to be or the type of place you want to live in.
If you are running a business, you will find challenges around every corner. Finding clients, running a business process, all takes effort, time and hard work.
Examples of how difficult life can be are all around us, the final point here is “Life Can Be Hard.”
My intent is not to say in all this, that you don’t work hard or deserve to take the time you need to relax and rejuvenate. My intent is not saying that you are not justified in thinking that you deserve more than what life has given you or what you have achieved to this point with all that hard work and effort.
It’s Not Always Good
I am not here to tell you that you are not justified to feel like you have days that are overwhelming or taxing. I know you have had it tough at times. Life will always deal you cards that are not what you were expecting, wanted or needed, but somehow you always come out of it in the end….sometimes better, sometime a little worse.
But in the end, really that’s ok. That’s what we do, that’s what living a life is all about. We do what we do, we push on, and we live our life. We always seem to have more than we need if we really think about it.
My thought there however is; don’t stop there, with “accepting” life’s consequences as the way it is. Accepting those life lessons as is, is difficult but it does not mean that you accept every circumstance and simply let it roll off your back.
You see, there are two sides to every coin and to my point, there is here too. If you take the face of it, life can be hard. But it doesn’t have to be. It is only hard because you allow it to be. Think about that for just a minute.
“You Decide What Your Life Is To Be”
Life is what we make it to be. You have seen people that are truly dooms day believing, conspiracy theorist, and such they believe everything that is, is bad or will become bad. They say in their spoken word every day. “It’s horrible”, “This is terrible”, “It will never work”, “We can’t do that” and so on… you know those people.
Accepting that life is hard at times, also comes with accepting that you have the option to simply not buy into it and decide that life “IS GOOD”, and you can do that, or you can achieve this, and yes indeed, we can try that new thing. You have the responsibility to consciously decide 99% of your emotions, decisions, and work efforts. The ability to change your behavior is simply how and what you say outload every day.
You Have What It Takes
Strive to be a motivated employee, with good ideas, passion for your work, and someone worth giving more responsibilities to. Promotions, better assignments, positive peer influence, all will be your pay-off in the end.
You have what it takes – Find a way to raise better kids and provide a positive home life for them and your entire family. Decide to become the example of a good husband or wife you would like your spouse to emulate back to you. What you put out, you will get in return, ten-fold!
You have what it takes – To be an engaged business owner, to learn new skills, employ motivated teams, and engage new technology. Choose to find the next widget in your industry and then be the best at what you do in the entire world. When someone thinks of your widget or product, they should only think of your company when trying to decide where to go for that item or service.
See, if you control you, then you won’t worry about controlling anyone else, and you will quickly realize that you never could control others thoughts or decisions, and the stress that came with that, is no longer yours to carry. You cannot change other people. Let’s take the example of marriage for moment. Notice that I did not say you should turn your husband or spouse into an ideal spouse. I said you should become the example of a good husband or wife you would like your spouse to be. Then, once you become such a person you may have several choices as to how to relate to your spouse.
Whatever the case may be, whatever example you choose to illustrate it, there is one other important fact about taking responsibility for your life and all that it entails. That is:
“You Always Get To Have Choices In Life”
It does not matter your circumstances in life, work, family, homes, businesses, you name it; You always get to have a choice in your life and you always get the final decision. It’s YOUR LIFE! No matter what you think you can or cannot do, you have a choice.
With that, it may not always be an easy choice, and it may really hurt you or someone around you from time to time. It may push you way out of your comfort zone or your normal way of living, but that is not necessarily bad. It’s possible that it may hit you financially, emotionally, and even physically; but it is a choice nonetheless.
Many times however, you will actually find that the choices are not as hard as you thought they were. You may just have re-wire your mind from seeing those choices and possibilities because you thought you had no choice. At the point you open yourself to the idea that you are responsible for your life and that you have choices, you will find that you are no longer stuck just because life is hard.
So it’s not to say that life will not be hard, because it will be. But always remember, you have choices; you live in a time and a place that you can make any change you want, do whatever you want, put yourself in a different position, place, time, financial, emotional place than you are today. It’s always your choice.
Enjoy what you’re reading? Join my professional network on Linkdin for more!